


Dumpster Fire -- Now featuring Firelord Zuko!

by urisarang



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Discord Jokes That Got Out Of Hand, Don't Examine This Too Closely, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Other, This story is a literal fucking dumpster fire, do it for the memes, no beta we die like jet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:06:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28845057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/urisarang/pseuds/urisarang
Summary: Firelord Zuko often daydreamed about something lighting on fire while he was in a council meeting--often he wished it was someone's over the top headpiece.   Sometimes he wished it was the person themselves, though he would never admit that.Then one day he saw smoke outside the council chamber window--a dream come true!Yeah, so that turned out to be a lie.
Relationships: Suki & Ty Lee & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 18





	Dumpster Fire -- Now featuring Firelord Zuko!

**Author's Note:**

> I just--
> 
> I'm not even sorry.

It isn't easy being the fire lord, in fact, Zuko honestly almost misses his time on the Wani staring angrily at the sea. At least then he was allowed to let his anger out, not so much while in meetings with his staff. So it was a relief when he looked outside the palace window and sees black smoke. 

He hopes it's something important burning, maybe one of the dozen portraits of Sozin the council wouldn't let him throw out. 

He stands and waves his hand to his guards, he'll see to this personally. Not because it will take longer and he really needs the break from self-absorbed nobles droning on and on--it's because he cares. A leader that won't go into danger themselves isn't worthy to order someone else to do it for him. 

Okay, so it is totally him needing a break.

He catches Suki’s knowing smirk--apparently, everyone knows why he’s so excited to leave. They don't say anything this time though so that's one nice point on being the flipping Firelord. One singular good point. Yay.

He shrugs off his formal robes earning a gasp from one of the present sages. He is on the window sill posed to jump before he can catch any heat for that his 'unbecoming' behavior. Suki rolls her eyes at his flair for theatrics but her painted lips curve into a smile. She hates the way the fire nation clings to formalities almost as much as he does.

Pushing off from the window sill he free falls the two stories landing in a roll. There is a loud gasp behind him--they do so hate to be reminded that their Firelord was once a criminal under the guise of the Blue Spirit. It is sorta hard to ignore when he pulled stunts like this. A respectable firebender would have at least used fire to slow their descent, they would scoff pointedly. 

_Like Azula,_ they didn't have to say it--he knew they were thinking it. A sore point--but an old one by now. It’s not his fault he still hasn’t master flaming Jet feet--he’s been a little busy repairing the world his family broken. Priorities, jeez.

Zuko shakes such thoughts from his head--he's got a fire on the palace grounds to investigate. He rounds the corner and sees what is on fire finally. One of the main dumpsters. 

Spirits, he hopes to find melted and charred paintings when he opens it. He breathes in and then out--calling the flames to obey his will. It should have been instant but it--no they--resist. That shouldn't be possible, unless. . .

The fire is actively under another bender's control. A surge of adrenaline floods his system as worry sets in. 

He had felt two separate wills in the flames. 

Pushing down the rising panic he slams his palms into the ground snuffing all flame within 100 feet by sheer force of will. Wasting not even one second he sprints the distance to the still smoking dumpster and jumps in--ready to face whatever unspeakable act is going on inside. 

That would turn out to be a lie. Nothing could have prepared him for this.

He lets out a high pitched shriek that an 11-year-old girl at a Back Street Benders concert would have been proud of as he trips over his own feet. All his time as Firelord, as the Blue Spirt, as an angsty banished tee--none of it could have prepared him for this. His movements turn clumsy and in his effort to move away he slips and falls.

Onto them. 

Oh Agni! What am I touching? What is touching me?! He panics in his mind, too many limbs!

In the next moment, there is a crash as his bodyguards come rushing in to investigate their Firelord’s less than manly cry for help. Suki's headpiece glints above him as she looks down over the edge of the dumpster. 

And just stops. 

For a full five seconds, no one says anything--mortifying shock on all four of their faces until Ty Lee somersaults onto the edge of the dumpster and looks in. 

"Oh hey--flame fucking!" She says in her bubbly voice as if this is fine. As if any part of this is normal. She sighs longingly, resting her chin on her forearm. "I always wanted to try it--but I wasn't lucky enough to be born a bender. It just looks so _hot_."

Zuko wants to die.

He's said that dozens of times in his shitty life. But this time? He really, really means it. 

"End me." Suki laughs at him and just--walks away shaking her head. Washing her hands of this. A wise decision on her part.

Ty Lee is kinder and helps to disentangle him from the two teens' naked--nakedness. The ease and practice in which she helps him out of the situation is worrying. As if she’s done this before.

He doesn't want to know. He doesn't want to know. 

The teens themselves are beyond mortified and aren't speaking. Not that Zuko blames them. He just wants to go home and bury his head in a pillow and scream until he forgets his own name. 

But alas, he is the Firelord and he can't just say nothing. So, with great reluctance, he turns around to the two teens who are huddling behind the dumpster's edge for modesty. Not that it helps Zuko forget that he saw (and felt!) _everything._

He clears his throat a few times before he can get sounds out. Face red and eyes anywhere but on the teens, he motions for his guards. 

"Get them some clothes--and clear the area." He vaguely turns back towards the dumpster, "I didn't see anything, nothing happened, and for the love of the all that is sacred: please don't do that _here_." 

"Yes, Firelord." The dumpster mumbles in unison. 

Zuko rubs at his eyes unable to get the images out. Knows he won't be able to for a long, long time. Not that Suki will let him live this down. 

Ever.

"Is it too late to abdicate and live in the woods for the rest of my life?" He asks Ty Lee as she escorts him back to his rooms. She puts a finger to her lips as she thinks about it.

"No, it's never too late to change your life--but they'd just sick Aang on you if you did that." Zuko let's out a sigh.

He always knew letting the Avatar go was going to be the death of him--he had just thought it would be more literal. And less wish-I-were-dead.

Agni shamefully dips behind the mountain regretting sharing its gift with humanity. Yue can be heard giggling from where she peeks out from her cloud.

**Author's Note:**

> 


End file.
